there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
