is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
