you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
