if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
