good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
