That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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