He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
