Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
