Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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