I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
