And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
