i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
