You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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