So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
