mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
