Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
