Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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