No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She bit a glass in half.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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