I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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