these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
