why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
