ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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