OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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