is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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