I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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