I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
