You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i now understand why vodka
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
