Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
