Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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