I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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