JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
