Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
