I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
