Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
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