Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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