exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
