I'm going to jail i love you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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