Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
