one two three fourrrrnication!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
