But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
