no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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