I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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