Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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