He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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