oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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