Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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