i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
