I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
