Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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