Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.

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(858): View more from California

I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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(708): View more from Illinois

sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

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(804): View more from Virginia

She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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(678): View more from Georgia

Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!

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(870): View more from Arkansas

If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up

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