Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
